Santa: sab log kyu bhaag rahe hai?
Banta: yeh race hai. jo jeetega use prize milega
Santa: agar sirf jeetnewaale ko prize milega to itne log kyu bhaaga rahe hai?                

Boss: tumhe MS office pata hai?
Santa: agar address denge to main doond looonga sir

Santa ne apna cellphone leke dentist ke pass gaya tha. kyu?
kyunki use check karna tha ke uske cell mein bluetooth hai ki nahi.

Santa: shaadi ke baad tumhaari jimmedaari badgayee hai kya?
Banta: haan yaar. pehle sirf mere liye khaana pakaana tha. ab mere biwi ke liye bhi pakaanaa pad rahaa hai

Santa: mera beta raat bhar book ke saamne hee baita rahta hai.
Banta: lekin phir bhi woh fail kyu huaa?
Santa: wah book 'facebook' tha, isliye

Santa: main england jaane ke baare mein soch rahaa hoon.
Banta: bahut paise kharch hoga na.
Santa: nahi banta, sochne ke liye paise kyu?

Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa

Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?
Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa                

Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir

Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai

Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga

Sardar1: - Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2: -Birla cement
Sardar1: -Kyun?
Sardar2: - Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain

once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

Beti ki nayi shadi hui thi. Dusre deen usne apni maa ko kaha-kal mera unse zagda ho gaya. Maa boli- koi baat nahi. Shadi k baad chhote zagde hote rahte hai.
Beti- Wo sab to thik hai par laash (dad body) ka kya karu?

Santa=Mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya..
Banta=Fir kya kiya?
Santa=Maine kaha Google pe search karlo,mil jaye to download kar lena

SANTA: KAL PAPA KUWE ME GIR GAYE....BAHUT CHOTT LAGI....BAHUT CHILLA RAHE THE!!!
BANTA: AB KAISE HAIN????
SANTA:THEEK HE HONGE.....KAL SE KUWE ME SE KOI AWAAZ NAHI AAYI HAI...!!!!!

PINTOO KO HAATHON KE NAAKHOON KHANE KI AADAT THI......
PARENTS NE USSE RAMDEV BABA K PASS BHEJA....
AB PINTOO PAIRON KE NAKHOON BHI KHA SAKTA HAI...!!!!

I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs.

Marwadi: Chal RACE lagate hai. Jo haara wo 1000/- dega.
Sardar: Thik hai pr mujeh rasta nahi pta. Marwadi: Bas tu mere PICHHE-PICHHE rehna! Sardar: "THANX YAAR"..

Circiut: Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera Sara chain collection apne kamray mein chupa do na please.
Munna bhai: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
Circiut: Nahin Bhai, woh apne chain pehchan lega.